This was going to be about how to seek retribution against a central heating engineer, or a London plumber, that defiled your confidence and ruined your life. Instead, this will stand as a lamentation about such deeds, as I have discovered that it is impossible to seek retribution against the invincible. Oh, how I hope someone proves me wrong. Until then I sorrow for the past, and praise those noble ones who know that a plumber can be good, and central heating engineer can be lovely.
My lamentation begins the day my friend’s central heating system went out because their boiler stopped working. It happened on a cold night, so some of their pipes froze and burst. It was a terrible evening to begin with. My friend called me up because I knew about a London based central heating engineer who was also a plumber. They figured they could kill two birds with one stone if that guy would come over. I gave my friend gave his number and they called him right away.
For a moment things were blissful in London. The plumber came over and looked at the central heating system. Then they looked at the pipes. They said that it was not that big of a deal and they could have it all repaired within the week and for a rather low sum. My friend was short on cash, but since the price was so low she agreed. She agreed with a handshake. That was her first mistake.
The next day was a sort of hullabaloo. The plumber had brought an entire crew over to my friend’s house. She offered one a drink, and ended up serving them all breakfast. They worked throughout the day, and in the evening she cooked them dinner. The next day they were back again. They pounded at the central heating system so loud all of London may have heard. As the week went on my friend got restless. She wondered how such a task could cost so little.
The next week the plumber and his crew finished with the project. Her central heating system was back on line, and the burst pipes had been replaced. My friend offered a sigh of relief. She could finally go back to living again. Then she got the bill from the plumber. Her mouth nearly hit the floor. It was nearly ten times what he claimed it was going to be.
She called me on the phone begging for my advice. I called every lawyer I knew, but they all told me the same thing. A hand shake doesn’t mean anything. In London a handshake should mean something.
I called my friend back in despair and told her she’d just have to pay it. She sold some of her grandmother’s jewelry and paid the bill. The plumber told her she was lucky she called him when she did. My friend didn’t feel so lucky.
In spite of all of this I know that there are honest central heating engineers and plumbers in London. I just haven’t found you yet.